Sometimes I feel as if losing Piper only happened to me, grief is a selfish beast. But Beau lost our girl, too. When two who should have been three, become two again. It's tricky business. So I've been dating my husband. It's like starting all over again with these new versions of ourselves. In the first few weeks I had to remind myself to ask him about his life. I debated setting an alarm in my phone to remind myself to do this simple act because when you are grieving, chit-chat is not on the agenda. Also, not on the agenda: wife chores. I don't know who does what in your house but this type-A Momma has done the laundry, grocery shopping and yelling at the cable guy for roughly 6 years...Those were hard to do with my face in brownies and ugly crying.
In most things that I've read since loosing Piper, in big red letters it says watch out, marital issues ahead. There are and have been bumps and pain and all the things that come with child loss. But above all else there is love. There are the hugs at 4 a.m. There is the kindness, there is the laughter and there is us. Forever changed but making a choice to survive this together.
Oh and by the way, Happy 3rd Anniversary to you babe! Thanks for being the most amazing father to our girl. The best way you could show her how much you love her is by loving me.
Rest easy Pipes. Mom and Dad love you.