Hi I never in my darkest days would have fathomed being here to write goodbye to anyone else from my tight knit tribe. Taylor Christian Bowen was young, witty and so full of life he hummed. His life force would punch you in the gut and make your cheeks hurt from smiling. He was a beloved son, grandson, little brother, uncle and friend. A student and an extremely hard worker. A friend wrote that T was always the first to come to work and the last to leave, eager to learn and please. Really, everyone loved him. Even Beau says he married me to be near Taylor’s energy. He loved a good pair of vans and spicy foods. He had very bad taste in movies and was a terrible driver. Probably the only person with a dirtier car than mine. When T left a room it was always with a hug and an “I love you.” He was sensitive, sweet and laughed easy. Taylor has this amazing uniqueness that allowed him to talk to anyone, anywhere collecting friends as he went along. He loved his family and the Washington Capitals.
And he died.
Or rather lost a very, very long and difficult battle with addiction. One of the last things he said to me besides “I’m so sorry” was that he hated living in this constant state of turmoil.
How? How does a handsome, well-loved and privileged man lose such a battle. He had the same comfortable and loving upbringing that me and his brother did. A mother and father who exhausted all resources seeking treatment and offering support. I can see how far and wide his tribe touches by the sheer outpouring of love coupled with the devastation and shock of his too soon death.
He had so much love and it didn’t work because his disease was too powerful. It ravaged all of his logic and wrang his wit and life from his body. What is important for me to say was that he was not weak. He did not go quietly though and fought with all he had but his opponent was unfair. He was unmatched. We were unmatched.
We all knew he was in a life or death battle so when we received the phone call late that evening I thought I’d feel the numb sort of sad that had slowly built its way in to our relationship but all I feel a soul crushing anguish that my baby brother was ripped from this world before he was finished leaving his mark.
The only comfort I have, now that he rests, is that the demons have let his soul free. That his pain is no more.
Let his precious and important life not be in vain. The opiod epidemic is burning us down, please let’s not give it oxygen. I plead that we ban together and take action against this force that steals our loved ones.
If you pray, pray for his peace and ours. Pray that we are given the guidance and have strength to continue to live our lives in a way that is joyful and that can honor Taylor’s light. Pray for my Mom and Dad. As we know it is not intended for us to out live our babies. They are on a journey I wish for no one. Join me in celebrating Taylor’s life and remembering the silly, happy and fun-loving man that was my baby brother.
I feel incredibly lucky to have been his big sister for 28 years.
You may now rest easy.
I love you, T.